THE ALIBI

nothing to do with this entry

Not every bar has a MySpace page, but The Alibi sure does. Strange, they list themselves as a 27-yr. old female... if I were a bar, I think I'd be more of a 30-something-year-old male.

Paragraph.

I once wrote a novel while under the influence of something "totally" legal in California. I wrote a chapter a night for 33 nights. It ended up being 133 pages (in Word), single-space. Its name was "Reckless Abandon", but according to the book's Introduction, it was translated from the original French... when its name was Le Recluse. Not only an obvious mistranslation, but intentionally made much more sensationalist with the English title. American publishers. Damn to hell.

At the time, I had friends working at Time Magazine, Spy and US News World Report. They weren't critics, but I used their quotes for the book's back blurb. And their companies' names, too, of course. Quotes like, "Never has such a young novelist created such an immensely intense classic masterpiece." - J.S., Spy Magazine or "He makes Dostoyevsky, Kafka and Voltaire all look like schmucks." - K.G., Time or "Invest your time wisely, read this book above all others out there, and buy shares in the phenomenon that will be its aftermath." - A.B, U.S.News World Report

Starting at the 6th word of the 6th line of the 6th page, one will find these words: "This is my quest..." and then a page-long (Word!) paragraph about something incomprehensible. At least so to humans. Sometimes I think my ol' dog Ty understood what I was trying to say back then.

Wish he were here now to explain all this to everybody...