International Man of Leisure : ( retired )

2009-06-15T23:02:00.000-07:00

SHE'S A BRICK... HOUSE!

IMOL(R*) w/ ReVi and IlAf

My good friend JoFa is getting married this weekend. It's made me think a lot about the institution, I confess. After a weekend of Scandinavian rock-n-roll (Datarock of Norway on Friday and the Swedes of A Camp on Sunday), I thought maybe I should watch Mama Mia and round it all out with a good laugh. Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth and Meryl Streep singing, I mean, c'mon you can't write a better comedy than that. Anyway, the movie's about a wedding, right... and Meryl Streep plays a licentiously lascivious woman (slut) who'd slept with 3 guys in one summer and didn't have protected sex with any one of them, and these three guys (years later) come to the wedding that the movie is based around, the wedding of a girl who's the daughter of one of these 3 men. DOUBLE SPOILER ALERT: this movie sucked harder than Kevin Costner's Swing Vote, but much like Swing Vote where you don't find out who wins the election, you won't ever find out who the girl's father is. I hate these kinds of endings which leave you so dissatisfied...

Which brings me back to the institution of marriage. END SPOILER. Marriage is supposed to be about true love. But honestly, what the fuck does that mean? JoFa and his fiance are well-matched, and I'm happy for them. This may be the first wedding in a long while, actually, where I will look at them during the ceremony and think that they will be together for the rest of their lives... as opposed to taking odds on the number of years before the divorce. Yeah, the family law thing may have made me a bit more cynical, but I'm still looking... for that "lost other half" of mine, the yang to my yin, the tonic to my gin, whatever. I'm losing faith though and coming to the conclusion that true love is either a myth or just not for everyone...

Ergo - I've decided to fight for the polygamists of the world. Maybe Mama Meryl Mia had it right.

2009-02-26T23:55:00.000-08:00

So... it's been a little while (and thank you for all the fan mail).

name change for street in SF? (if only...)

It was Nancy Pelosi's distinct pleasure to introduce President Barack Obama the other night before his speech to the nation. How cool is America all of a sudden? Female Speaker... African-American President... and that's when I decided it's okay to stay in the U.S. of A.

As for my disappearance of over one year... would you believe that they don't have the internet in Iceland?! Things have gotten so bad there that people are forced to find free forms of entertainment to keep themselves occupied... and letmetellya - it's a Californian's dreamland. I felt like that British guy Colin who goes to Wisconsin (with his Basildon accent) in that movie Love Actually...

I'd post photos but I sold my camera to pay the bar tab for those depressed yet still ragin' Reykjavikers (Reykjavikians?). I know the real reason why the prime minister resigned. When the mighty metropolis made Grist Magazine's #1 greenest city in the world, I thought it would be a good idea to get Geir grassed up, and he sputtered to me, "Who put the Jav in Reykjavik, baby?!." I could haardely bear such ridiculous humor that the man lost my support and with that his country.

2007-11-28T11:42:00.001-08:00

STELLAAAA!

st. charles streetcar

J'adore le streetcar. Love it so much I'm dedicating a whole post to it because when it comes to traveling to Bourbon Street from uptown New Orleans, there ain't no better way to travel. What people don't realize is that following "the storm" (Katrina), the streetcar line was not running for two whole years! Unfortunately, aside from the St. Charles line, all the other streetcar tracks were torn up and will not reopen. Aquel dommage, n'est pas?

I've been practicing mon French lately for hope that I'll get to use it soon.

A note on A Streetcar Named Desire. I'm not a huge Tennessee Williams fan, but Marlon Brando rocks, er, rocked (whatever - he'll always rock). Did you know that every actor in the film version of Streetcar won an academy award that year... except for Marlon?! Now that's just plain bull manure because it is my humble opinion that Marlon Brando was the greatest, most important, most pioneering actor of all-time. Okay - that's all for today. I'm spent. Too many beignets.

2007-11-20T11:42:00.000-08:00

OH, THE HUMANITY!

house dedication, 9th ward - new orleans

MoFo and I traveled on down to the Big Easy for a week. We helped build houses for Habitat for Humanity and the Musicians' Village of the devastated 9th Ward. Okay, yes, I may be a man of leisure, but I don't mind picking up a hammer and nail for those unfortunate folks of the 9th Ward. Without these people, the fun parts of the Big Easy could not function - there would be no hotel staff, no servers and no musicians. What is New Orleans without all this? So... though I have taken a vow to shirk work, I felt it my karmic duty to give back a little to the city which has given so much to me in the past.

Special thanks to DoTa for coming out for a couple days to help out our house-building team. And congrats on getting signed with a record label! Back in the day, DoTa and I used to jam together. Look at him now - all grown up with a label behind his music. Pretty damn cool - hmmmm... maybe I'll start a rock band of my own.

2007-11-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

TAILGATING ANYONE?

Ahh, the sweet smell of blackened catfish, shrimp gumbo and crawfish etouffee. You may be wondering where a San Fran man might find such delicious dishes... or maybe not if you read the title to this posting.

49er tailgating is really unlike the kind of tailgating I've experienced in other cities - you know beer & barbecue kinda thing. At Candlestick (Monster Park), people drink wine over tablecloths. And when the Saints are in town, the cuisine is Cajun/Creole all around the parking lot.

I came just for the food... and drink, of course - didn't see any part of the game at all. I met the halftime entertainers in the parking lot [see 1st photo] and some other interesting characters [see left], but the highlight had to be... [drumroll, por favor]... the jello shot lady! I had not had a jello shot in years! I'm going to make some more this weekend for sure, though.

ps - thanks for cleaning that catfish, MoFo ; )

2007-11-06T12:50:00.000-08:00

FOTC, YEAH YOU KNOW ME!

HBO's Flight of the Conchords rocks as hard as I've ever known anything to rock. If ever I return to the workforce, I would try to work on this creme-de-la-comedie set...

Jemaine & Bret appeared at MoFo's Sangriaween soiree. Such a fantastic find for a t-shirt, I must say. The prize had to go to SaWa's Homewrecker costume, though... and to MoFo's sangria, of course - that stuff will hit you harder than you may realize.

Strange to see a picture of oneself, passed out on a couch, fully clothed... but with half a beard and some serious chops. Would seem like someone was screwing with me... but, in reality, I'd really just been screwing around with myself - uh!*

These pictures were of course destroyed as I must preserve the reputation. In fact, what am I talking about? What pictures? There were no pictures!

See FOTC MySpace page here.

*The current "uh!" record stands at 1000. AnBy is in a close second after (while at a conference) he uttered these words, in reference to MP3 downloads: "People will be getting in their offices, getting in their kitchens, in their bedrooms... uh!" If 1001 people read this post, the new "uh" record will be mine!

2007-11-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

THE ALIBI

nothing to do with this entry

Not every bar has a MySpace page, but The Alibi sure does. Strange, they list themselves as a 27-yr. old female... if I were a bar, I think I'd be more of a 30-something-year-old male.

Paragraph.

I once wrote a novel while under the influence of something "totally" legal in California. I wrote a chapter a night for 33 nights. It ended up being 133 pages (in Word), single-space. Its name was "Reckless Abandon", but according to the book's Introduction, it was translated from the original French... when its name was Le Recluse. Not only an obvious mistranslation, but intentionally made much more sensationalist with the English title. American publishers. Damn to hell.

At the time, I had friends working at Time Magazine, Spy and US News World Report. They weren't critics, but I used their quotes for the book's back blurb. And their companies' names, too, of course. Quotes like, "Never has such a young novelist created such an immensely intense classic masterpiece." - J.S., Spy Magazine or "He makes Dostoyevsky, Kafka and Voltaire all look like schmucks." - K.G., Time or "Invest your time wisely, read this book above all others out there, and buy shares in the phenomenon that will be its aftermath." - A.B, U.S.News World Report

Starting at the 6th word of the 6th line of the 6th page, one will find these words: "This is my quest..." and then a page-long (Word!) paragraph about something incomprehensible. At least so to humans. Sometimes I think my ol' dog Ty understood what I was trying to say back then.

Wish he were here now to explain all this to everybody...

2007-10-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

EXOTIC EROTIC

IMOL, CaGa, and ?

Oh what a night - late October 2007. Was a very special time... the annual Exotic Erotic Ball at the luxurious Cow Palace [that's sarcasm for the locals]. I saw lots of skin. Too much skin at times if you know what I mean - nudge, nudge. I met the first runner-up to Miss Exotic Erotic (she lost to this WHOA-man who flashed the crowd - I wish she hadn't [see above]). Unfortunately, none of my usual entourage* was there at that moment to snap a photo. Too bad because the first runner-up was a first-class hottie: a-woOO! Sorry but she was. The crowd picked the "winner". I voted for the runner-up and almost lost my voice. If the man with the camera is out there reading this, please send the photo my way.

I arrived in style with slave Leia, a fallen angel, and a sexy piratess. The pink bracelets you might see around our wrists above were VIP backstage passes (that's how I met the runner-up - did I mention how hot she was?). Kudos to LaDe and MoFo for working their magic yet again.

As I sit back and ponder the evening, I wonder... why can't every night be exotic and erotic?

*When I say entourage, I mean MoFo.

2007-10-27T16:35:00.000-07:00

THE MATRIX HAS YOU

Mayor Gavin Newsom (above) - I saw him sitting at a bar (Matrix), signing letters. That's a pretty cool thing to do for a mayor, but then again, San Francisco has got a cool mayor. Yeah, he got himself in a little trouble for sleeping with his campaign manager's wife, but c'mon... the man's hair is immaculate - you can't hold something like a small affair against him.

Our Conversation:

IMOL: Hey, Gavin - how's it going?
MAYOR: [smiling] Hi.
IMOL: Heard you on the Alice Morning Show the other day - you were pretty funny.
MAYOR: Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.
IMOL: [to bartender] Ketel One Martini, up, extra dry with an olive, please... [back to Mayor] I was really impressed by how well you answered those calls. You really know what's going on in the city... like you're really reading all those "Pet Peeves" postings on your website.
MAYOR: Well, I do... though I've been so busy lately, I've probably personally only read about 80% of those recently.
IMOL: I wonder if you've seen the pet peeve I submitted then...
MAYOR: What was it?
IMOL: Complaint with DPT [Department of Parking & Traffic] - I tried to pay some parking tickets in person, and they said I couldn't pay with a check... they said that they only accepted checks that were sent by mail [at this point, IMOL puts shoulders and palms up as if to say WTF]...
MAYOR: [double blink] That's just plain silly.
IMOL: I know, that's why I submitted it.
MAYOR: I haven't seen it yet, but I'll keep an eye out for it because that's absolutely ridiculous, you're right.
IMOL: Cool - well, thank you, Mr. Mayor - keep up the good work... I'll definitely be voting for you again.
MAYOR: Thanks, I could use all the support I can get...
IMOL: [lifts his glass in appreciation and takes a big swig] Take care.
MAYOR: [nodding and smiling again] You, too...

Then he got back to signing his letters. Super charismatic guy, he is. The Democrats could have really used him nationally if it weren't for that whole same-sex marriage issue debacle (and that little affair thing.) Someday, the rest of the country will catch up with his progressive vision.

2007-10-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

IMOL GOES "INTERNATIONAL"

Okay so I had promised that I would incorporate more things international into this blog, so I thought long and hard about what I could do while I wait for the government to do its job and issue me a new passport already, and I decided to go find the tourists. No better place to do that in San Francisco than Fisherman's Wharf and Alcatraz Island.

MoFo's mother was in town, too, so it seemed like a perfect excuse to do something I normally wouldn't do. In fact, although I've lived in the Bay Area since '94 (minus 3 years in New Orleans), I have never been to Alcatraz nor had I ever ridden a cable car. Just one of those things I felt too cool to do as a local and all.

What a mistake. The audio tour of Alcatraz is stellar. The best I have ever heard (okay so it's the only audio tour I've ever taken but it was still pretty cool). Very educational, too. There were some things about the history of the island that I'd had no idea about. For instance, did you know Al Capone liked to wear his underwear over his head and cluck like a chicken? Actually, that might not be true - I just like to start random rumors in public places to see if they ever come back my way (the one about pop rocks, coke and Mikey from Life cereal - I started that one when I was in grammar school).

The sea lion guy at Fisherman's Wharf was cool to talk to. He's there to answer questions about the sea lions that like to sunbathe at the pier. I stumped him. I asked him if the sea lions' mating habits are more affected by diet or temperature changes. He had no answer for me (little did he know it was a trick question!). We also talked about sharks. The Great Whites off the coast* like to munch on these poor creatures. Sea Lion Guy said that the Killer Whales, though, who hunt in packs, kick ass over the Great Whites. Thus endeth the marine life lesson for the day.

Finally, when darkness fell, I wrapped my arm around a cable car pole and went on what felt like a roller coaster ride through the streets of San Francisco. Thank God I had the wherewithall for an Irish Coffee from Buena Vista before flying through the chilly city air.

FYI - If any of my friends want to come visit (nudge nudge), I'll gladly do it all again.

*The fall is a great time to visit the Farallon Islands off the coast of the San Francisco peninsula because those waters are known as the mating waters for all types of sharks (including Great Whites) and whales (including Orcas). It's basically a big orgy (my words - Sea Lion Guy would call it a great photo opportunity).

2007-10-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

ELECTRO STRIKES AGAIN

I've managed to kill my camera somehow. Add that to the list of assorted electronic goods that I plan to use in my latest and greatest sculpture idea.

Concept: an ethereal child ascending to the heavens yet the subject manages to retain the reality of self, though young and innocent, knowing and more complete than the unseen rest of us about - still very stark in its perspective as is symbolized by the play between light and dark, a contrast accentuated by the space dynamics evident within the expansive composition... made entirely from junk with wires. 3 DVD players and I really don't remember how many phones, I've lost count. Electro has fried all of them somehow.

I have powers. Super-human super-hero type powers. California has helped developed them. With its verdant vegetation.

So I celebrate with a Cohiba in hand, given to me by AmBo, as pictured above from a photo previously unused but now presented because did I mention - I killed my camera somehow.

Synchronicity, once again. Between my camera dying, this photo, the cigar I'm smoking and the fab female next to me who happens to be a fantastic pro photographer. The Almighty Light of the Great Oooh You Are So Big Bless AmBo by the way - she is the pro photographer I want to take with me on all my travels.

As for other photographers, I don't know what I'd do without them. I wouldn't be able to post anything anyway if it weren't for MoFo.

She rocks like a star.

She goes with me to the bar.

Honey from a jar.

A thank you haiku... a thaiku.

2007-09-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

WPTH vs. KPWS

Sounds like a battle between east coast and left coast radio stations, I know, but... what it is exactly is a movie idea, perhaps a sequel to the independent film The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill called - Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill vs. Killer Pigeons of Washington Square, or WPTG v. KPWS. In the style of AVP (Alien v. Predator), Freddy v. Jason, and MacGyver v. A-Team (oh wait, that's not a real movie - just another dream of mine to see a combination of 1) yet another retro TV show movie mixed with 2) a "versus" genre pic on the big screen [it will be fantastic, culminating in the two sides improvizing a way to do battle with one another, but each side will be limited in supplies to chewing gum, toilet paper rolls, old parachute, a croquet set, etc.]). WPTG v. KPWS will be much bloodier, though, because no one ever got hurt in A-Team or MacGyver.

Source of inspiration - I was on Telegraph Hill, which is four blocks up from Washington Square in San Francisco. The wild parrots there (yes, there really is a flock of wild parrots in San Francisco) make a hell of a lot of noise. They are spaztic fliers. But you've got to love them. They have a certain charm, what can I say.

Down the hill, the rats with wings in Washington Square swoop across your head and terrorize the parksters like some Hitchcock flick. They are orderly about their terror runs, though. Like Nazis...

Okay, so I'm having this thought - parrots = good guys, pigeons = bad guys... when all of a sudden a lone parrot starts squawking outside the window from where I was writing. I think, strange for it to be by itself, as they do have a tendency to flock for protection, and then I hear a predator's caw, a red-tailed hawk, to be specific. And this raptor/bird of prey/whatever you want to call it is chasing down this lone parrot. I stick my head out the window to observe. I watch as they fly over me, the parrot making some serious noise now, and then as they pass over the building - silence.

Another sign.

Let this be a lesson. The hawk is the U.S. government. We freedom fighters are the parrots. Everyone else is part of the fucking pigeons - as long as they get their food, they're happy. We parrots must stick together, however, or else the war hawks of the world are going to kill us in the end.

2007-09-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

WHO KNEW?

http://www.myheritage.com

Celebrity look a-like. If you want to do it for yourself, go here.

2007-09-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

I SAW LONDON'S UNDERPANTS

Okay, no doubt - this travelling thing is great, but sometimes it's just tough to top being home amongst the friends who live where you live...

San Francisco - gorgeous day, perfect night. Dinner at Tsunami - the absolute best sushi in town. Warm surroundings (lots of red which I like), pitchers of sake, fun and attentive service, incredible presentation on the food which is, by the way, the fucking bomb. MeRe and I were pretty full and buzzed by the time we left. From there, we met up with CaGa and MoFo at 15 Romolo and listened to this blues trio jam while sipping on our dirty, dirty martini's. We were celebrating MeRe's new job, and we decided to do something a bit more upbeat and perhaps a little crazy... or at least atypical for this group.

The Hustler Club. Oh, such a shame they don't allow photos while inside that place. Kashya from Russya provided me with some international entertainment [lapdance], and London looked like she was trying to give MeRe a couple black eyes with her boobs. The place is pretty busy on Tuesdays... and I'm really starting to worry about my liver. Somebody mentioned donating one to the cause - I may take you up on that.

I have to agree with my friend Sadie that connection is indeed a very good thing. Last night proved to me that this kind of human connection can make for a quality night... or at least morning's rest. I'm still smiling just thinking about it.

2007-09-03T15:35:00.000-07:00

YODA, JEDI KNIGHT! errr... VODA, VODKA NIGHT with MoFo @ Voda

I believe vodka should be part of everyone's spiritual growth. The peeps o'er at Voda would agree. That's why they have developed what I would call the closest to perfect menu I've ever seen. Mainly because everything is about vodka, and you can get just about any kind of vodka, and you can mix just about anything with that vodka because anything and everything really goes with vodka, and they know this and now so do I. I feel enlightened. At least my head does. My feet are actually feeling kind of heavy.

Happy hour until 8:00 and happiness beyond...

2007-08-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

NORTH BEACH HAPPY HOUR

First of all, special thanks must go to MoFo [above] for last night. Here's why...

A friend of mine from law school, MaRe, and his wife, DoRe, just had a baby about ten weeks ago. DoRe left for Texas this week, so I had a chance to see MaRe for the first time in a long while, at a Happy Hour at the Columbus Cafe in San Francisco's North Beach neighborhood. So the plan was to meet for a couple drinks, and then I was going to pick up MoFo for a movie.

Man, do they serve large margaritas at the Columbus Cafe. I mean, wow, these margaritas came in pint glasses. Needless to say, I had a good buzz going (hadn't eaten dinner by this point). I'm waiting for a call from MoFo, oblivious to the fact that my cell phone had no reception in the bar - missed the movie, but kudos to MoFo for so being cool about it. Ended up drinking wine and eating quality hummus back at her place... and then by 1:30 a.m., I found myself facing "Bucky" the mechanical bull with VeGa, my driver for the late night to next morning's hours. I'd write more about it now, but the thought of Bucky is making my stomach turn. Pardon me. Will continue this when I feel human again.

2007-08-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

RYE, RYE, BIRDIE TO THE AMphoto by Greg L

MeRe and I went to one of her favorite establishments, Rye, across the street from the Ambassador (which is my least favorite place in SF). Rye is great - great bartenders; ergo, great drinks. Sweet style, cool crowd. The Ambassador, while a city favorite for Euro-trash, sluts & posers, can learn something from its neighbor across the street.

I made it there following a happy hour in the peninsula, a place called... oh damn, it's happening again. I really need to fix my camera so that I can take photos of the names of places I go to.

2007-08-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

CaGa BOOM-ZEE-AY!

JeDa NIGHTS

DO-MeRe-MARTINI

A man of leisure could never find a better friend than the woman who is CaGa. That's a photo of her (above) sipping a bloody [spoken through clenched teeth, of course] at Perry's on Union Street. Very tasty, by the way. The Bloody Mary, that is. CaGa, too, I suppose, but I think a better term to describe her is (using her own catch-phrase) "Super-fabulous." She will be in charge of IMOL's stylistic concerns once corporate sponsors start pouring in the $$ for all these links I keep providing you the reader. I love her ideas for my new business card, too. It's going to be black with fancy letters. Can't wait to start passing them out.

Until then, she has instructed me to not include any more cell phone camera shots in this blog and to tuck in my shirt. We'll see if with that the people at Skyy Vodka will start paying attention finally.

A shout out to JeDa, whose birthday it is today - even though it's been years since we've seen each other, you can't say I ever forget... and thanks too for supporting my writing endeavors, as always, by reading this blog.

Oh, and I think it's time for a survey again:

MeRe turned me onto dirty martini's, so I'm leaning towards this drink as my personal potent potable. I also always enjoyed listening to her tell the bartender, "I want it dirty, dirty - just when you think it's dirty enough, go ahead and make it dirtier."

So... if San Francisco's Skyy Vodka ends up sponsoring International Woman of Leisure instead of me - what should IMOL's signature drink be and how should the order be uttered?

a) "Pour me an Absolut Dirty Martini, please.";

b) "I'll have a Dirty Bird, thank you." (Grey Goose);

c) "Belvedere... up but far from clear.";

d) "Pearl, please, not white or black... but as green as you can make it."

e) "Findlandia... filthy, shaken and stirred."

Or maybe I should just have MeRe order my drinks for me...

2007-07-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

BBC AMERICA

"The world is a monster that swallows you whole." [REM] Not that this is a bad thing. Take the Wednesday night we had at the BBC (British Bankers' Club), for instance. Wait a minute, I'm sorry, I was drunk again and thought I could make sense of Michael Stipe's lyrics there for a second. I could that night anyway. I concluded that the world was a friendly monster somehow... but I can't get there from here anymore.

VeGa and I danced. We sang. We ate. We drank. We did lots of things. It was an excellent time. Extraordinary, in fact. Extravagantly exciting and exhausting at the same time. But... I felt I had graduated to a higher level of partydom, for I was still up past 4:20 a.m. and VeGa (normally Ms. Endurance) had passed out after last call, which for some stupid reason occurs by 2:00 a.m. in California. Think I may petition our Governator to rethink that measure.

[ <--- VeGa and the "Professor"]

Feeling cheated, I did what any man of leisure would do - I returned to the BBC on Thursday night... only to find that the stylishly hot crowd had been replaced with a karaOKe hodge-podge of weirdo's and overall misfits. Not that this is a bad thing. I mean it's not every night you get to sing woo-hoo's with Bono intensity. Not to keep harshing on REM, but Everybody Hurts really brings the crowd down. If you're going to sing karaoke, sing a happy, upbeat song please. Kudos to NiFe for his rendition of Jim Morrison. Oh, and to VeGa's friend Ca for not passing out and keeping up with the man on Wednesday.

Is it the weekend already? It's about time...

2007-07-11T12:46:00.000-07:00

SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY

MoFo and I had a delicious brunch at Mama's in North Beach. Their Bloody Mary's aren't as tasty as Perry's, however. Or the Cliff House for that matter. Or the Balboa Cafe. All those places have okay food but great Bloodies. With Mama's it's the opposite. Fantastic food. Bad Bloodies.

And bloodiest of the wants-to-drink-Trent-Reznor's-blood VeGa is back from New Jersey! I'm really sorry I missed out on that trip back to my old home state (you can take the boy out of the state but not the sarcasm out of the Jersey boy).

I discovered a new use for a Swisher! And that's the last thing I remember until I woke up this morning, er, afternoon. I have faint images of Big Foot again for some reason. And there's a new number in my phone. Along with just one new photo. Here it is:

I know you must think it's fun to be a man of leisure, but I really can't remember anything anymore and it's starting to scare me...

Just kidding. Being IMOL is the greatest thing in the world. If ever I've done anything right, it's this - so stop working and start living again, people!

2007-07-09T18:53:00.000-07:00

SAKE IT TO ME, BABY

self-portrait #1

Three of my favorite things in the whole world are: steak, sushi, and great martinis (of course). Anzu has all three! Kudos again to MoFo for discovering it. Their martinis are all made with sake, however... but, hey, that's okay in my book as long as it goes down smoothly and hits your head before morning. The food was fantastic, too. Hard to beat a slab of beef with a side of fresh sashimi. And potato latkes with creme fraiche to boot!

The restaurant is part of the Hotel Nikko which, as you can probably tell above, is super chic-chic. If anyone comes to visit SF and happens to stay at this hotel, please let me know. I'm dying to know what the rooms look like.

That's not a come-on.

2007-06-30T12:04:00.000-07:00

RECOMMENDED LEISURE ACTIVITY: MINIATURE GOLF

I've always been a proponent for getting in touch with your inner child, and what better way than a round of mini-golf? The thrill of watching a ball (mine was bright yellow!) bank off the wall and then fall for a hole-in-one still manages to create such a rush... by creating, I suppose, a sense that, for a moment at least, there's some sort of order and perfection with the world. Another plus is that I can safely say that mini-golf is an activity which will always induce laughter. The spazzy shots that end up bouncing off and onto a different hole will always manage to make me laugh. And then there's the flirtatious flounderings with your competitor. The somewhat more mature aspect of the game - but then there are some friends who would disagree...

X: "I feel like we're on a date, playing mini-golf and all..."

?: "Yeah, maybe if it was like 15 years ago..."

After a sweet round of 18 holes, we tied - which seems to have provided us with another lesson for the day. Not to take things too seriously. To enjoy the moment for what it's worth - to enjoy the game and not worry about who wins or who who loses... a tie - a perfect ending for perfectly lovely afternoon.

I did give her an extra mulligan on the 15th hole, though.

2007-06-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

821

Another quality place to go in San Francisco. 821. It's small, quaint and the bartender plays some killer music. It used to be an unknown neighborhood bar, but it's now starting to get some more attention. The drinks are reasonably priced, and they do some funky things to champagne.

Tip of the week: all that sugar in champagne can cause some serious hangover symptoms - IMOL recommends several glasses of water before you go to bed OR one glass of Emergen-C.

2007-06-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

ANOTHER TRIP THROUGH NORTH BEACH

LaDe came to town from snowy Colorado. I haven't seen her since the Foggy Fest, but like the late parrot of yesterweek, she has the distinction of being part of the very first blog entry.

In a word: whirlwind.

I picked her up from the airport, we dropped off her bags, had a drink at MoFo's pad, and then proceeded to hit 1) Tony Nik's; 2) Columbus Cafe; 3) Gino & Carlo's; and then 4) the Savoy.

For once, MoFo did not accompany us on this jaunt through North Beach (she has a job). Personally, I don't know how she keeps up with me as often as she does and still maintain a 9-5 legal position. If there was a night to take off, though, it was this night with LaDe.

Why? In another word: vodka.

I've known LaDe since first year of law school in New Orleans. When I moved to San Fran after finishing school, she was the first to follow. We've drunk many a daiquiri together, let me tell you... amongst other things. There's a certain, special bond that forms between people who have lived in the Big Easy. For instance, take MoFo - didn't even know her when I lived in NOLA though we were in the same class (LaDe introduced us in SF), but because we've NOLA in our blood, it's like we're...

Connected.

2007-06-04T10:17:00.001-07:00

MONTE CARLO OR BUST!

In my first post, I mentioned how I wanted to make it to Monte Carlo to play baccarrat with Sean Connery... well, I haven't made it overseas yet, but at least I made it to Vegas again - AND to the Monte Carlo Casino! The casino was not so nice to me, however. All the $$ I made at the Hard Rock and the Luxor, I lost at the Mirage and at the Monte Carlo... and then some. Oh well, doesn't really matter because I had a hell of a time:

For one, I had one of the best dinners of my life at Michael Minna. MoFo and I had a four course seafood extravaganza which included tuna, caviar, lobster and halibut. I ate the food so quickly, I forget how it was prepared... but I do remember it was all delicioso at least. Thank you camera for maintaining a record for posterity's sake.

Also had a very respectable meal at Simon at the Hard Rock Hotel before hitting the Killers/Louis XIV concert which, if I may say, rocked. Two of my favorite bands on stage together - it was like seeing NIN and Bowie all over again.

The other amazing highlight of my weekend was the Cirque de Soleil Beatles LOVE show. The mash-up re-mixes on the music were extraordinary - the visuals overwhelmingly outstanding - the athletic acrobatics amazing - the choreography... crazily kinetic.

"the 5th Beatle" - photo by MoFo

2007-05-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

BAY TO BREAKERS

The infamous, annual Bay-to-Breakers, a.k.a Freakshow. It's a "race" from San Francisco Bay to the Pacific Ocean. Roughly 7 miles in distance, this Sunday morning event attracts the usual local weirdo's but since drinking outside along the route is tolerated, it attracts everybody else, as well... or at least tens of thousands of people anyway. Done properly, the B-to-B celebration begins the Saturday night before... or if done in IMOL style, the Friday night previous. Most people dress in crazy costumes for the occasion. Some people choose not to wear anything at all - a few too many of those types, in my humble opinion. I wore a robe because that's what I had available to me at the time. Others around me seemed to follow my fashion savvy. At the end of it all, we jammed at MiSa's house. What a beautiful bass guitar.

2007-05-15T09:52:00.001-07:00

WINE COUNTRY - PART I: SONOMA

I know how to spend a Saturday well. It's actually quite an easy thing to do living in San Francisco thanks in part to the proximity of Napa & Sonoma Counties. My day-long companion for Part I of my Wine Country Adventure: MoFo the Wise who never steers me wrong...

Stop One: Matanzas Creek Winery - I actually found a white wine that I really, really liked. I say this with surprise because if I hadn't been to a tasting, I doubt white wine would ever even pass my lips. Not only does Matanzas have a killer Sauvignon Blanc, but the environs here are stupendously beautiful.

Stop Two: Paradise Ridge Winery - Picturesque views, a sculpture garden, and oh yeah more wine. This time my focus was on reds, especially on a Cab [Cabernet Sauvignon for you who's not's] that MoFo ended up buying for her next wine tasting soiree. The super-sweet daughter of the winery owner and his late wife poured our wine... and she had a heavy hand, let me tell you, because by the time we reached Stop 3, MoFo and I were acting sillyly... and talking like I spell.

Stop Three: The Charles M. Schulz (Snoopy!) Museum - wow... I mean truly radical in a NorCal kinda way. I haven't had this much fun at a museum... maybe ever. Yeah, yeah the multitude of wine helped, but they have a clever set-up here - Sparky's (C.M.S's) old desk, huge murals and vintage strips (this is wine country still after all [grin]). It was the kind of place where I've wanted to go all my life without really knowing it.

Stop Four: John Ash - this is a hell of a dinner, accompanied by another incredible bottle of red, this time a Zinfandel (no, not a white Zinfandel, you wine novices [gosh, one day in wine country, and I've become a snob already]) - I had the steak, MoFo had the fish... did I mention the wine?

Stop Five: The one-man Star Wars trilogy - on the way back to the city, we stopped in San Rafael, former home to George Lucas and LucasFilm, to see Episodes IV through VI as performed by one man in one hour. Hysterical, especially to someone who knows all the lines to Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back. I never cared much for those silly Ewoks. The performance was truly impressive, the voices were spot on, and the occasional commentary was scathing in its hilarity.

2007-05-07T10:58:00.001-07:00

EL CINCO... HOLD THE MAYOCaGa & SaWa @ "The Table"

My roommate AmGo (left & bottom right) & I threw a party at our spacious by city standards San Francisco apartament to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. AmGo rules as a roommate and as a person generally for many reasons but one of them being the foozball table acquisition. We had about fifty people or so over for tequila & cerveza (all Mexican, of course). The Patron marg's with mango were a crowd favorite. I made it to the finals of the foozball tournament, but one of our opponents passed out before we had a chance to play the final game... making MoFo & I champs by default. Arriba!

2007-05-04T13:41:00.001-07:00

THE BIG EASY: PART IIInight at the casino

1. Jackson Square
2. One-Eyed Jack's

3. Absinthe
4. IMOL @ Absinthe Bar
5. Po' Boys @ Domilise's with Mr. Domilise

6. Behind the Bar
7. MoFo & her girls
8. Herbsaint

9. SoGa & wife BeGa - our gracious hosts

2007-05-03T11:46:00.001-07:00

THE BIG EASY: PART IIGentilly Stage @ JazzFest Fairgrounds

1. Gospel Tent
2. MoFo y Yo

3. SoGa a.k.a. Mr. JazzFest
4. Dinner @ Ignatius
5. Booze on the Table

6. Late Night @ F&M's
7. Dancing on the pool table
8. Must be getting late...

9. Uh... I dunno

2007-05-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

THE BIG EASY: PART Ikilling time at the airport, raising funds for the casino

Oh, happy days... to be back in New Orleans. I hadn't been back since pre-Katrina, so I can't say enough about how exciting it was to see my old home city. I think I may just let the pictures speak for themselves... well, maybe some captions:

1. 1st Stop - Bloodies @ Igor's
2. Lunch @ Acme Oyster House

3. The French Quarter 4. Street Musicisans
5. The First Daiquiri

6. Daiquiri #2 Uptown
7. Soccer @ the Levee (w/ Daiquiri, of course)
8. Dinner @ Iris

9. IMOL w/ SoGa

2007-04-23T10:19:00.001-07:00

TO BEAN OR NOT TO BEAN

Fitting that on the Bard's birthday/deathday, April 23rd, I should find myself playing Bohnanza. What a strange concept for a card game...

I think that I want to die on my birthday. That way, the people who love me that I leave behind can be ultra-depressed on just one day as opposed to two.

Such egomania, I know, but this is my blog, don't you know...

To counter this, I have decided to spend more focus on others. I shall be the witness-observer of all around. Today's highlight:

On a quiet street corner in quaint Noe Valley, a post-toddler pre-teen boy stood with whom I assume were his parents. The parents were clean, well-dressed individuals, talking animately while they waited for the lights to change before they crossed palm-lined Dolores Ave. The boy was also very well-dressed - with jacket, tie, slacks, shiny shoes and slick hair. I got the sense that he did not normally dress as such... not that he looked uncomfortable, on the contrary, he looked very comfortable in his attire. So comfy he was dancing a sweet jig/tap routine. The parents were oblivious to the dancing, though. They were too busy yapping away and focusing on the slow light change (they were obviously running late - you could tell with how they jumped on the green). Little boy missed the light change, though. He was intent on improving this one step he was working on. Once he perfected the move to his satisfaction, he then caught up with his parents halfway down the crosswalk.

Do too many of us lose the enjoyment of the now because of the things we know we have to do in the future?

2007-04-09T17:15:00.001-07:00

KILLER SHOW, DUDE!

The Killers came to town and they went to town at the Civic Auditorium. The opening was a multi-media frenzy... and loud - like really, really loud. My only criticism was the venue (too big, floor too hard, lot of cheeseheads).

Actually, speaking of cheeseheads - my friend and I were standing behind Pogo-boy and the Running Man. Pogo-boy bounced more than Tigger throughout the entire show. He may have been on something... at least our toes. Running Man didn't really move his legs all that much, he just swung his arms wildly and erratically, trying to cop cheap feels from my friend's boob with his elbow.

All in all, they really rocked. See them if you ever get a chance - I highly recommend. Get both of their albums while you're at it, too. FTR [for the record] - I don't say that about too many bands.

2007-04-06T14:26:00.001-07:00

THE PERFECT MARGARITA

1 generous shot of Patron Silver.
1 Jigger of Grand Marnier.
Freshly Squeezed lime to taste.
1 spoonful of sugar (to help the alcohol go down)
SHAKE IT UP, BABY - add a twist and shout "Arriba! Abajo! Al centro! Por dentro!"

Then go watch Speedy Gonzalez and Slow-Poke Rodriguez banter about the inequities of life, and you'll realize Warner Brothers and Looney Tunes were just stereotyping Mexicans as drug-users. Speedy liked his coke. Slow-Poke liked to toke.

2007-04-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

NEW DIRECTION

I signed a month-to-month lease for an apartment in San Francisco. Why do such a thing when I have intentions to travel the world? 1) I still don't have a passport which kinda puts a damper on the "international" plan; 2) I really love San Francisco and I haven't finished exploring it yet; 3) I'm still waiting on the corporate sponsorship...

In over 6 months time, I have only repeated visiting a place on two occasions: 1) Bourbon & Branch and 2) the Old Pro to see Bucky the Bull. I'd say that's pretty impressive... and I have a plethora of other new places I want to hit before I embark on the journey. Still - my feet are getting restless for foreign sands just the same...

JazzFest is coming soon, at least. I went to the Matt Kearney concert the other night, and hearing some live music again was getting me really psyched for my planned trip to the Big Easy. I haven't been back there since before Katrina, so needless to say I've been dying to see my old town for a long time now...

If I ever take a break from my life of leisure, it will be to help the people of New Orleans... but the best way I can think of helping is by buying as many drinks as possible while I'm there.

2007-03-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

ERIN GO HA

'Twas the week before my birthday, and all through the city, creatures in green were gettin' real shitty...

And then I ended up at the Rickshaw six days later. Someone else has to fill in the gaps.

2007-03-08T15:57:00.000-08:00

MARCH MADNESS
(IN THE REF'S BRAIN!)

The NCAA Men's basketball tournament is nigh upon us. I'm going with the bold yet extremely vain pick of Xavier to go all the way. This is a year for redemption.

Three years ago, Duke beat Xavier during the Elite 8 game after the referees wrongly fouled out Xavier's star center Anthony Myles with 12 minutes left to play. They called two fouls on Myles within 6 seconds! That's got to be some kind of record. From USA TODAY: "The Musketeers were hurt when Anthony Myles, who netted 16 points, picked up a pair of questionable fouls [emphasis added] - his fifth of the game coming with 12:27 left and Xavier holding a 44-41 lead..."

Mark my words. Xavier will get further than Duke in this year's tournament...

3/15 Update - Beware the Ides of March, Duke fans (sorry, Sadie) - LOL - talk about karma, baby. Xavier upset BYU and Duke lost to an 11-seed in the First Round! Already Xavier will go further than Duke...

3/17 Update: I may have a had a few too many Irish car bombs but... Xavier got ripped off!!! AGAIN!!!!! If you think I'm biased... WATCH THE VIDEO HERE. Decide for yourself.

2007-03-06T17:20:00.001-08:00

FROM NOLA TO LA JOLLA

I've never read an Anne Rice book before... but I've been to her Halloween parties (thanks to Sadie). As I prepare for my return to the Big Easy, I'm disappointed to hear that the writer formerly known as Howard(?) Allen O'Brien [Rice] has moved away from NOLA to La Jolla, CA.

Let me start again because my thoughts are scattered across tangents upon tangents. I've never read an Anne Rice book before... but I've just begun The Vampire Lestat after MoFo told me that I would enjoy it given my recently revealed affinity for wolves. I've already seen the movie version of Interview with a Vampire (+) as well as Queen of the Damned (-), so MoFo thought I'd appreciate and enjoy Lestat's backstory... and I am! I might even join Rice's fan club which carries Lestat's name - that way I can get an invite to her Halloween parties again... though now that she doesn't live in New Orleans anymore, I'm not sure if the celebration will still have the same gothicly grim and grotesque gala feel to it...

Femme-bots. They weren't grotesque...

I'm having a hard time maintaining focus it seems... I should probably stop writing for today except I wanted to say...

I'm going to JAZZFEST, baby!

2007-02-28T00:38:00.000-08:00

BOOK OF THE BI-WEEK: The Baron in the Trees by Italo Calvino

How the back-cover blurb reads to the 1959 Harvest/HBJ Edition:

"Long considered in Europe to be Calvino's finest work, The Baron in the Trees is yet another example of this brilliant Italian writer's gift for fantasy. Set in the eighteenth century, it tells the story of Cosimo, a young Italian nobleman, who rebels against parental authority by climbing into the trees and remaining there for the rest of his life. He adapts efficiently to an aboreal existence - hunts, sows crops, plays games with earthbound friends, fights forest fires, solves engineering problems, and even manages to have love affairs. He also has more time to read and think. His proposal for "an Ideal State in the Trees" is acknowledged by Diderot, and Napoleon pays him homage. From his perch in the trees, Cosimo sees the Age of Voltaire pass by and the dawning of a new century. By now he is old and infirm, but his ending is as graceful and unusual as his life has been."

I'll start reading anything someone suggests. If I manage to conquer my A.D.D. and actually finish the book, it's a high compliment to the author. The Baron in the Trees is one of those books. I probably won't ever read it again, for very few books receive that distinction, but the fact I finished this one means that I recommend it. I doubt that will happen much over the course of the year. I hope I'm wrong. But try me. I'll give you the link to someone else's suggestion at least....

2007-02-21T12:22:00.001-08:00

BRAZIL OR BUST

Brazil for bust might be the more appropriate way to say it for you quintessential Fat Tuesday types. I should have been in Brazil for Carnivale, but the federal government is conspiring against me. Hope everyone had a Happy Mardi Gras.

I've lost all my beads...

2007-02-15T14:51:00.001-08:00

OH, VALENTINO

Did you know that Valentine's Day replaced this pagan tradition of placing virgin's names in a lottery box and then having the coming-of-age men select a name from that box then deflower the person whose name they had drawn?

That was a poorly phrased question. I apologize.

I spent my Valentine's at the Grand Cafe with MoFo, who you can't deny looks stunning in red. My good friend AlMo is the sommelier there, and he hooked us up! A fantastic cabernet, steamed mussels, salmon for the lady, John Dory pour moi, cheese platter, and a saucy sauterne.

Yum.

Much better than that Medicine Eatstation we almost went to... pah - thumbs down on that place... oh wait - they're giving us a free meal for screwing up our reservation. Mmmmm... okay, I guess the verdict is still out...

2007-02-07T10:47:00.001-08:00

FINALLY...ErSe le Goof

I had dinner at MacArthur Park, finally. I moved to the Bay Area in '94, and I've been waiting to have dinner there ever since. The steak I ate was great, but I was disappointed with the ambiance...

I can't believe it. That's the first time I've used the word ambiance on this page. Another first. Just confirmed using search. On the other hand, I've used "swanky" thrice now. I think I'm more excited about the use of the word than I am about the restaurant.

So I think I'll talk about something else instead... ErSe (above) is going to be my marketing guru. She works for a company that's big into social networking. I'm hoping the company can help me meet the big spenders from a hotel chain or airline who will want to sponsor my dream to be free and leisurely. Regarding this endeavour, I'll keep you posted...

Blog humour.

I also apparently like to use British spellings when I'm drinking gin.

2007-02-05T09:45:00.000-08:00

SUPERBOWL

I was going to write about the game... but I woke up Monday and can't remember anything except seeing Prince's silhouette. Who won?

2007-01-19T20:21:00.001-08:00

SCOTT HOWARD

It was my friend AnBy's birthday, so we took him to Scott Howard. Wow. This week has really hit me with back-to-back deliciousness... and a tighter fit around the ol' waist. Maine lobster served on top of a crab risotto... and that was my appetizer! For dinner, I had a perfectly cooked, thick, juicy steak. Between seven of us, we had three bottles of wine. After the requisite birthday shots, of course...

I remember thinking: I feel so bad for these people who have to wake up and go to work tomorrow.

2007-01-16T17:27:00.001-08:00

CORTEZ

Ok. There seems to be a conquistador theme creeping into my life right now, for some strange reason. First with The Fountain. Then, Montezuma's revenge struck close to home (not me but my neighbor). Now, the restaurant... Cortez was pretty awesome. All month in San Francisco, several restaurants were offering a "Dine About Town" special menu, including Cortez. The chef is also a baker, and he makes, by far, the best bread in town - something called Bay Bread... simply melts in your mouth. Just talking about it is making me hungry. Otherwise, it's quite a fusion - pseudo-Mediterranean meets tapas with aspects of California nouveau...

Fusion. You'll find just about every restaurant in Northern California has a "fusion" character.

MoFo, CaGa and ErSe helped polish off the Bordeaux during the 3-course meal. The cocktails we all had beforehand were pretty fancy, too. The tawny port that came during dessert, though, was mine, all mine...

2007-01-07T19:01:00.001-08:00

A PLACE TO SMOKE!

San Francisco is not a town for smokers. I take that back. San Francisco is not a town for cigarette or cigar smokers. The social tobacco inhalers normally need to step out into the bitter SF cold (all things being relative - I don't even wear a coat in "wintertime") and puff curbside. It creates an interesting social sidewalk scene, and your clothes don't end up wreaking of smoke at the end of the night, but every now and then, an indoor smoke is a welcome thing...

The Occidental has come through for San Francisco. It's a Cigar "Club" for the young-at-heart but not the pink-of-lung. Great beer selection and they make an excellent dirty martini, which means I'll be going back. Thank you, Occidental... my fingers were getting a little frigid.

2007-01-06T20:10:00.001-08:00

FEAST ON THE EPIPHANY

Today is known in Christian circles as the Feast of the Epiphany. I had a feast, and I had an epiphany.

"Love the life you live. Live a life of love..." - Darmaon LeRoi, paraphrasing from a keychain inscription.

2007-01-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

DISH DE JOUR: SQUID IN ITS OWN INK

Sounds absolutely disgusting, doesn't it? But if I'm going to travel to exotic places, I figured I should start getting used to eating some pretty weird cuisine. This twist on calimari that Picaro

serves rates pretty high in terms of weirdness, but I've got to say... it's pretty yummy - no, I'd go as far to say that it's very yummy. In fact, it's one of the most satisfying appetizers I've ever had in San Francisco. Tough to beat the mushroom dumplings from Eos, though. Mmmmm, Eos. I may have to head that way again soon.

I should credit MoFo for her adventurous call on the order, in the first place. MiCa, LaDe, and RuCa each had a different reaction to the squid, as is evidenced by the photo (MiCa -"Fun!", LaDe -"Whatever, look at that cute guy over there," and RuCa - "Eww, gross, you couldn't make me eat that if you paid me!").

2007-01-02T15:46:00.000-08:00

UNTAINTED LOVE '007

hard to focus a camera on New Year's Eve

THE PRE-PARTY took place at MoFo's North Beach pad. LaDe was in town again for the weekend, her new boyfriend MiSa made an appearance, and CaGa the reliable and her friend Am were there, as well. Champagne was the beverage of choice - I like the way the bubbles tickle my nose, what can I say? But since it was New Years and all, people seemed to be okay with drinking a whole lot of it. MoFo set out some smoked oysters, crackers and a palette of international cheeses! Sorry, I couldn't resist. The forces of the world are trying to "domesticate" the IMOL in me, and that alter-ego of mine must resist those forces when at all possible.

THE PARTY PARTY - Vintage415 is a swanky social club that throws parties around town... (when I say town I mean the "city" of San Francisco, all 7x7 miles of it), thus the "415" - our illustrious area code. We caught the last hour of Tainted Love, an 80's cover band, then a couple of DJ's started cranking out some groovable tunes. I admit. I danced. Quite a bit, I tranced. Little lit. Lost pants.If what they say about New Year's Eve being a reflection of what's to come for the year ahead... that's a pretty blurry reflection, I must say, but oh what fun is sure to come...

THE AFTER-PARTY - CaGa, Am, MoFo and I met up with MeRe and her boyfriend Na at Mezzanine. More DJ dancin' and as a result my legs are still sore... though not as sore as my head from all that champagne.

ps I noticed that in the last picture here (right), I have a marked increase in scruff... which makes me think me that maybe that last party lasted longer than I realized.

It's a good thing I've been in constant training.

2006-12-27T11:32:00.000-08:00

THOUGHTS ON COFFEE...

My friend wanted to give his employees a cool holiday gift. Since they are programmers for a start-up, I suggested a quality espresso machine as they all tend to work looong hours...

Sorry, I had to stifle a giggle there...

I did some research for my friend, though I confess - espresso is something about which I feel I am already quite knowledgable. Men of leisure have to start their mornings or afternoons somehow, and espresso usually does the job.

The Saeco Incanto (above) ended up being the machine my friend selected, thanks to my research. What I can't believe is that my friend brought in someone else to calibrate the machine to make the optimum espresso. I may not be technical, but uhhh, did I mention I know my coffee?!

ps one week later, the machine that had been "carefully calibrated" for optimum espresso-making was spewing out dirty water - I went into my friend's office and worked my magic. My friend's team of employees all love me now. Amazing what good coffee can do to people.

2006-12-24T23:18:00.001-08:00

WHITE XMAS

It snowed in San Francisco during the holidays. The Union Square Christmas Tree (above) was blessed with the first snowflakes in God(s) know how long. [I say God(s) as such because who really knows and as a trained lawyer I've learned the benefit of the C.Y.A. doctrine.] But I was talking about Christmas, the time we celebrate the birthday of Jesus though Jesus was not born in December... have you ever seen a shepherd in the winter? Everyone knows or should know that the late December celebration was picked merely to replace the big pagan festival that used to occur at this time of the year. Typical. Bonus for the commercial capitalists to have one last chance to boom the economy before years' end.

I don't mean to sound like a Grinch, but I find it kind of comical that I spent my Christmas Eve with Max the Dog. I wanted to put my Cosby antlers (with bells!) on the poor creature, just like the Grinch did for his Max, but Max's mom absolutely forbade it. I don't blame her, I guess...

When I start my religion, I won't replace Christmas... I'll just add more days of holiday and reintroduce some of the ol' pagan practices because they had it right, albeit in a twisted and kinky celebration kinda way, but hey - there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it sounds like what I have planned for New Years...

2006-12-15T17:56:00.000-08:00

OZUMATLI

no cameras allowed at the Fillmore - pah!

Saw an amazing show at the Fillmore. Ozumatli - a ten-member Brazilian hip-hop funk band. They've won a grammy and they sure deserve it because these guys have got it going on. If you're looking for something cool and fun and upbeat, IMOL highly recommends.

2006-12-10T13:35:00.000-08:00

FARMERS' MARKET

Here's another reason why San Francisco kicks ass - the Farmers' Market. Located along the bayside of San Francisco, the Market offers the locals a chance to buy just about anything under the sun. Or rather just about everything which has been nourished by the sun. At least indirectly. Wait, I guess everything organic is nourished by the sun, even humans. The infamous Vitamin D. Wow do I digress...

I bought lots of cheese. Because, quite frankly, I love cheese. I don't know a single snack which pairs better with wine. So there you have it.

I think my posts are becoming not-so-subtle attempts at enticing Sadie to move to San Francisco.

2006-12-07T10:12:00.000-08:00

A NIGHT AT THE OOOOPERA

My next door neighbor sings for the San Francisco Opera Company. He had gotten me tickets for Mozart's Magic Flute a couple years ago, but he didn't perform in that show, so I hadn't seen him in a production until MoFo and I caught the SF Opera's performance of Carmen.

I knew the music from Carmen, but I did not know the story. My god, what an awful story. The soloists were great, but what a horrendous plot. If I'm going to sit through 3 1/2 hours, I expect lots of champage between the acts and a good story at least. We had plenty of champagne anyway... I couldn't get the Harold Hecuba episode of Gilligan's Island out of my head for the rest of the night, though. A musical version of Hamlet with the Carmen score would have been a better show.

(Ugh... I just took a sip from the wrong can [the one I'd been using as an ashtray] - serves me right for being so critical, I suppose.)

A positive note. It was pretty cool to see my neighbor perform. MoFo also seemed to enjoy herself very much. That in itself is enough for me to have a good time. Afterwards, we stopped by Dimaggio's for one of their fancy concoctions. By the time we left, I had completely forgotton about my hang-up over Carmen's stupid ending. I love happy endings... maybe the opera is not for me.

2006-12-01T14:08:00.000-08:00

A DECEMBER TO REMEMBER

MeRe and IMOL drinking WCB's

MeRe makes me laugh like no other. She and I used to be in a comedy troupe called drunken monkey, a San Francisco improv/sketch group comprised of 3 men and 3 women. We met on the first day of auditions - in fact, we happened to be paired together during the first round of auditions... and we've been performing for the world ever since.

We are creating a new comedy super-group and hopefully we will be joining forces with Barry Holiday of L.A. for 2 shows next year. If you have some time to break from work, visit the site of wackiness which is barryholiday.com.

Speaking of holidays and MeRe... I received this little invite from my comedic partner in crime:

Can't wait to see the photos from that party.

2006-11-28T17:54:00.000-08:00

I WANT TO BE A SUPER-HERO

Stan Lee of Spiderman/Marvel Comics fame had his own reality TV show on the Sci-Fi network called Who Wants to Be a Super-Hero? I mean - wow. I confess that I watched the first episode and the last one, just because I have a sick and twisted sense of curiosity for the freakish things of this world. And let me tell you, that was something else.

I mention this only because I just found out that there is going to be a second season. I think IMOL may enter the competition. My special powers: immunity to alcohol (except White Zinfandel - that's my kryptonite!). Unafraid to sing karaoke but petrified of last call. Slurs and slants among the mightiest. Eats and flies with the wealthiest yet somehow never ends up with the tab.

2006-11-27T00:51:00.000-08:00

FOREIGN CINEMA

Okay, so I like movies. And good food. So I was really excited for my dinner at Foreign Cinema where they play a movie against their courtyard wall while you eat your meal. Fantastic. I recall Ef and I had eaten a delicious dinner there before and watched Dr. Strangelove, one of my favorite movies. The food was fantastic - this time and last.

However...

Cabaret is really a painful movie to sit through. I'm just grateful for the company of MoFo, AnBy, Sa and the other Russians who helped polish off the beautiful bottle that was the Duckhorn Merlot. Mmm-mmm gooood. You can order their wine on-line, too. Tell them IMOL sent you... if enough of you do it, then maybe I'll finally end up with a some corporate sponsorship.

2006-11-17T10:16:00.000-08:00

COOOOKIE

A night at 12 Galaxies. And who should be there but Mr. 12 Galaxies himself. MoFo, KeWe, JeMo and the Cookie Monster, too.

Cookie Mongoloid fucking rock. Its Sesame Street on speed. Go-go dancers, a mosh-pit and cookie cannons. A regular ho-hum quiet night on the town. Cookie Monster pelted MoFo with a stale-ass chocolate chip cookie while she was standing in the balcony. They played I am Cookie (sounds a lot like the Sex Pistols' Anarchy in the U.K.), C is for Cookie, and my personal favorite - 10 Cookies. I have to say - they get better everytime I see them. You think I would tire of seeing Cookie Monster enter the show through the crowd on a motorcycle, but I don't. And busting heads with Cookie Monster while he sings Me Lost Me Cookie in the Mosh Pit brings me joy everytime.

C is for Crazy.

2006-11-14T17:26:00.000-08:00

REGIS & CONTRA-B

Hotels seemed like the next logical place to find things international... like people, so CaGa and I hit the St. Regis for bloody bloodies. This place is swanky swanky and as far as hotels go it gets the official IMOL mark of approval - 4 1/2 martini glasses! - that's not my rating system, it's the number of drinks I had after the bloody mary (the other half I spilled on some Swedish girl's lap).

Some say all things happen for a reason. After all, it's not like a man of leisure to spill his alcohol.

This quest of mine to know all things international is going very well indeed.

2006-11-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

WHERE HAS ALL THE TIME GONE?

Latest thoughts on the life of leisure: it beats the hell out of working. Wait, I've had that thought before - mmmm... it's really given me a chance to philosophize and put things in perspective... uh, no - think I mentioned that before, too. How about - you start to notice the little things more and learn to really appreciate them... like the birds and squirrels outside my window, like the way water falls from a massage shower head... or like the dust on the top of my snooze button. Hee hee.

Also, if you have the time to write your own song, do it. At least try. I don't know of any other non-sexual activity more fulfilling.

2006-11-07T09:40:00.000-08:00

12 GALAXIES

Ahhh... it feels good to be back in San Francisco. I would never have made it on Walden Pond. It's hard to be bored here in the city. Such characters. Such freaks.

When I moved back to SF in '99, I was working in Union Square, where I would often see the man seen in the above picture (we'll refer to him as the 12 Galaxies guy). Back then, the big topic was impeaching Clinton, and that's what the 12 Galaxies guy had on his picket sign: "IMPEACH CLINTON: Guilty of Crimes in 12 Galaxies". Since then, the names on his sign have changed and become a little less comprehensible, but the man has managed to get sponsors for the B-Side of his sign, not to mention that Nike sports him with some quality footwear. After all, the man does a lot of walking. That's all he does...

Not true, I was at a Cookie Mongoloid concert a couple Halloweens ago, and he was the emcee. Weird sight (weird intro - the man has a truly out-of-this world vocabulary) - especially because there was someone in the crowd dressed in a 12 Galaxies guy costume.

There is a club in San Francisco called 12 Galaxies (named after the man in the photo). And guess what new synchronicity I've discovered... Cookie Mongoloid is playing there next Friday. IMOL will be there.

2006-11-06T11:17:00.000-08:00

A CABIN IN THE WOODS

On the way through the Santa Cruz mountains, one can find a 99-year old cabin made of redwood and hemp. There's a nearby waterfall and a virtual farm of animals: goats, a rooster & chickens, dogs of all sizes, and even a little pig named Snapple. Wild deer often visit the land, and at night you can hear the frightening grunts of a wild boar - pretty spooky when you don't know what the hell is making the sound (and when you had recently heard rumors that the chupacabra was in the neighborhood). All in all, an excellent place to retreat and think...

Conclusions: my body is happy, especially my head. The leisure life can take more out of you than a so-called "normal" existence. My new knight's quest shall be to seek out more things international. I am also opening the doors to suggestions for places to visit, so if anyone has any ideas, please share with a locale and an optimum time of year for that place. Looking at New Years' now as a start for the serious travel. Final conclusion: I get bored real easily - think it's time to head back up towards the city.

2006-11-03T11:46:00.000-08:00

REBIRTH

Fitting that I was talking about the Big Easy so much recently because here we have a quintessential New Orleans band in the form of the Rebirth Brass Band. I can safely say that I have seen this band more times than any other band I know. I can't even say how many times because 1) it would be embarrassing and 2) because I actually don't know it's so high.

Rebirth used to perform at the Maple Leaf in uptown NOLA every Tuesday night, and I of course would go see them just about every week. Trumpets. Trombone. Saxophone. Snare & Bass Drummers. And a Tuba player who rocks. You might not think that you could rock out on a tuba but you can... or rather he can.

It was cool to get a flair of N'awlins without leaving San Francisco. It makes me feel I should do more things with an international feel to it while I wait for my passport to be processed.*

I think I'll order some take-out Italian for dinner tonight.

*TIP OF THE WEEK: Don't ever let your passport expire - renew it before that happens.

2006-11-02T15:25:00.000-08:00

HELLO WEENIES

Or... "Halloween in the Castro".

Closest thing to a Mardi Gras crowd that San Francisco has.

2006-10-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

THE RETURN TO B&B

Before this night, only Bucky the Bull had the distinction of a repeat visit, but I went back to Bourbon & Branch with Mofo and her friend El (who for some strange, bizarre reason has decided to move to LA from SF), and let me tell you: this place still rocks.

I had a drink called "a drink with no name". After 3 of them, I had a hard time remembering my own.

I think I'm turning into Karen from Will & Grace.

2006-10-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

AND THE FASHION AWARD GOES TO...

CaGa outside the Red Room

CaGa matches her purse to the decor outside the place we're going. Wow. Who else that I know could then ever deserve the IMOL fashion award besides CaGa?!

That's right. And... you'll be pressed to find better company than she for places as red as the Red Room @ the Commodore Hotel.

Did I mention she's my stylist? Oh, well, yes, I may have... but that has nothing to do with the results, I swear.

2006-10-18T18:45:00.000-07:00

LA REVE (THE DREAM)

So... I'm watching a movie that takes place in Vegas (Black 13 came up on the roullette table*), and I was reading the news about the Picasso painting which got a hole poked in it by Steve Wynn. The painting is called La Reve, as is the Cirque-du-Soleilish water show at the Wynn hotel (I stayed at the Wynn while in Vegas last, but I did not see the show as I was too busy winning money on the craps and roullette tables). What's really freaking me out right now is that a print of La Reve is looking out at me from the wall next to the TV which is situated across from where I am sitting.

Nora Ephron happened to be there to witness the Picasso painting poking event. Apparently, Steve has a depth perception problem and a skill for increasing a painting's worth overnight. I'm not a proponent of conspiracy propoganda, but... all I'm saying is how lucky we are to have a skilled writer of Ms. Ephron's caliber there to chronicle the event.

I'm sorry, but I'm a little suspicious. Though, I am amazed at how damaging something might potentially increase its worth with the mere act of creating an interesting back story for the artwork. Call me cynical, call me pale... I've spent six nights drinking ale. The best conclusions I've reached so far are spend more time outside and don't trust anything you read. Except the words that you see here.

Picasso was overrated. The phallic symbol in the subject painting (above) is so obvious, it's almost laughably offensive. Gives new meaning to the term "dickhead". Head & Shoulders, Johnson & Johnson. As I cocked my head, pondering my last statements, I sit satisfied knowing my critique of Pablo will someday be accepted by the rest of the art world.

*The Pick-up Artist, with Robert Downey, Jr. and Molly Ringwald, also contains a scene in Vegas involving betting Black 13 in roullette. It was on TV the next day after the Reve newsday. The movie I was half-watching that day starred John Cleese, Alicia Silverstone and Woody Harrelson but I never figured out its name, and it wasn't good for me to bother looking it up. All I'm saying is the signs are definitely all around us... I just have no clue what they all mean.

2006-10-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

OLD ROOMMATES REVISITED

photo with AlCo from my last birthday party

Funny thing I learned this summer... no matter how quickly things change, your old roommates stay the same. So much radical change has occured in my life over the last few months. Mostly positive. Some negative, true, but easily handled.

The freedom from the grind I feel now outweighs the benefit of having a steady, paying job...

The people with whom I share my time now have different faces from before, I miss the ones from before, true, but I simply adore the ones that I now know (sorry just watched Breakfast at Tiffany's again for the Xteenth time, and the diction from the movie's dialogue sticks in my head).

I can also move back to the city now that my beautiful old treehouse of a home is being sold...

When I lived in the city last, I worked on the 10th floor of the Tiffany's building in Union Square for a talent management company. I ended up going out for an audition myself and started performing with an improv comedy troupe called Drunken Monkey. Then I hurt my ankle playing basketball and had to get an office job again. Fast forward - after four years working at a family law firm, I have become a domestic man of leisure with aspirations of going international. Today I'm playing basketball, watching movies, and listening to the Monkees as well as the Police's Synchronicity CD.

I think my digressions are trying to establish some kind of theme...

I was talking about old roommates and how they never change even though everything else around here does. AlCo was a roommate of mine for a long while. We had some good times... and some bad ones, too. I saw her a fair bit this week, and I realized something:

You can fix something that's broken, but not somebody. They have to fix themselves.

2006-10-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY THE 13th

More synchronicity for you. 13 is my favorite number. If you read about the Vegas Adventures then you know it's also my lucky number. My oldest brother is exactly 13 years older than me [to the day], and he's come to visit SF from PA, and we watched the 13th Warrior. I also had 13 shots and can't remember what else I wanted to say about that... except that the De Matteo's scare me with their enthusiasm for the 13th Warrior [see link].

Double segue to... Top Drink of the Week goes to DiMaggio's for their chocolate-strawberry martini concoctions. Granted, I am partial to chocolate and strawberries for dessert, but add some alcohol to that and we've got a party in our mouths... mmmm, that sounds dirty for some reason.

Either everything is inter-connected like a masterly designed web of order and symmetry or I've become delusional from those shots.

Kevin Bacon has now done enough movies that 6 degrees are no longer necessary. I can now connect him with any actor, actress, or actron in 5 degrees or less! I guess the earth will keep shrinking as long people keep copulating and making bad movies.

The Census Bureau also says that on Monday morning at 7:46 a.m. ET we will have 300,000 million people in the U.S.A.* That means if each citizen and every immigrant donate just $1 to this blogger community... we can all go to Monte Carlo in the spring.

*The Census Bureau bases its statement on approximations and past trends and admits that the 7:46 a.m. landmark is just a further pile of government crap.

2006-10-12T02:35:00.000-07:00

A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF IMOL

The Lookers.

The Rockers.

The Mockers and the Shockers.

The drinkers without wireless.

The thinkers and the fearless.

Cutenessextreme. And in the end... a stream of dreams.

2006-10-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

... AND IMOL'S HIGHEST HONOR GOES TO: BOURBON & BRANCH!

The Knight of the Night has fulfilled his quest. And it was only fitting that MoFo was there. With her camera, of course. She does weddings, birthdays and other assorted parties if you need. So do I. I can even officiate a marriage thanks to the wonderful world of the wide web and the Church of the Spiritual Humanists. I started a radical sect within the church because of my objection to the terms "humanism". Not only is it difficult to say when you've had several too many cocktails, it's offensive to animals, all creatures - big and small.

Speaking of several too many cocktails... Bourbon & Branch rocked. Honestly, if I were an alcoholic, this place is heaven. I felt like I died. The menu was nothing short of exceptionally extraordinary.

Blood and Sand. The personal potable pick. It looks like blood. And it looks like sand. There's a bourbon taste to it. But that's what makes it Heaven, baby!

[It's now one week later and I've just been released escaped from a "spa" (with no internet!). Something about bourbon and scotch ruling the world when all I had actually said was that the Bourbons (of France) had ruled over the world of the Brits and Scots (but not the Irish!) for a time. A misunderstanding of 3's Company caliber as you can see. Now that internet has been restored, I can continue with these Chronicles of Nonsense.]

2006-10-03T11:10:00.000-07:00

CLIMATE BEST BY GOVERNMENT TEST

The thing about Emerald Hills is this: it has an energy about it similar to what Austin Powers faced during his encounter with the femme-bots... cross-mojozination kinda feeling, if you know what I mean. If you don't then let me pull out an even more obscure reference to serve as an analogy: Emerald Hills is a cross between Wizard of Oz and a U2 song, or maybe rather a synthesis of sight and sound but not time, or even better - it's a Shire thing. Starring John Cusack and that desperate housewife, Talia... with a bunch of hobbits.

Okay, someone handed me the wrong cup of tea apparently. Fucking Californians can be so careless sometimes.

2006-10-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

MO BETTER BLUE

The Blue Chalk Cafe. I have known this restuarant/bar since I first moved to California in '94. It's located in normally sunny Palo Alto - this weekend the clouds forced us to keep our layers on. The big news was that MoFo blessed the Peninsula with her presence - thing is, I had enticed her away from chilly San Francisco with promises of warmth and sunshine, but the only warmth I could provide were drinks from the Blue Chalk.

VeGa and MoFo also met for the first time. Which was interesting to me for several reasons. I have been spending the majority of my time with these two lovely lasses lately - and it's amazing they haven't met previously... but what occupied my mind while there was the fact this place was the site of a monumental evening for me - twelve years ago.

U. The one that got away. HeFe. My longest relationship (3 1/2 years). One night, HeFe and I met up with U at Blue Chalk for dinner. That's when I found out that U was moving in with some Colombian guy (an obvious surrogate for me, of course), whom she would eventually end up marrying. That same night, I ended up kissing HeFe right outside Blue Chalk. Realization. My record relationship with HeFe was really just a rebound from U. And a dozen years later, I'm finding it interesting that my life should in a way come together at the very place where it had splintered.

Sounds like a cause for celebration to me. Who's buying?

2006-09-28T05:56:00.000-07:00

VEGAS, BABY!

Recently returned from Vegas...

I must say - I have a talent for living it large at no expense to me. Somehow, I even managed to return home with more money than when I left...

Key thanks to JeMe, SaSi and NiFe, for their financial and spiritual contributions...

I really need to whip my body into shape for this IMOL project, so a trip to Vegas seemed like a perfect plan. And it was. Absolutely perfect.

From winning on Black 13 on the roulette table to owning the craps dice like a banshee in heat. (Not sure what that means exactly.)

Had a room available to me at the Wynn though I didn't see much of it. Dinners at the Wynn and Hard Rock. Clubbing at Tao and Body English. Highlights: Simon's swordfish, Red 8's Shrimp with walnuts, Kr's dancing, and the pregnant bride smoking a cigar...

Lesson: good math can save you a lot of money. Play the odds in craps, too - it's the only way to make money.

What else I found - inspiration and motivation. To make this little experiment successful enough so that I'll end up playing baccarat with Sean Connery by the time the Cannes film festival rolls around... if someone could only teach me the rules of baccarat at some point.

2006-09-27T00:15:00.000-07:00

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...

Ahhh, the annual LoveFest in San Francisco. Electronica, Hip-hop, Trance - whatever. Inspired by the Love Parade that takes place in Berlin, the crowd gets to enjoy a bunch of DJ's and dancers on floats (and who knows what else). There may have been some illicit things going on in the crowd. I wouldn't know about it. I was somewhere else. Dancing. Prancing. Romancing... the weekend was all about love, after all.

TIP OF THE WEEK: Beware pink elephants.

MoFo and JoHo met up with me at the Civic Center, where the Love Parade ended its route. All the different floats circled around the center block by City Hall and blasted their respective music for hours on end. Into the night and through the next morning. Plenty of after-hours parties (for once) and then the party continued on with the Folsom Street fair on Sunday morning. WARNING: The Folsom Street Fair is not for the weak at heart. It's a kinda fetish festival, I suppose, and I pretty much guarantee you won't see the kinds of things you can see there anywhere else (except at maybe a couple other weekend festivals in San Francisco, i.e. Dore Alley, Bay-to-Breakers).

San Francisco is a pretty progressive town. And on any given day, you will see an assortment of freaks and weirdo's. LoveFest weekend provides a concentrated form of that San Francisco freakishness. Lots of costumes. Sometimes no clothes at all. Plenty of things to keep your eyes and ears occupied anyway.

Mouths too, I suppose...

Working on getting International but am waiting for my passport to be renewed still. Need to make it to that SpeakEasy first.

2006-09-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

HERE COME THE SAINTS

I used to live in New Orleans. I'm also the kind of person who always cheers for the underdog. As a result, I'm a Saints fan...

Monday Football this week featured the New Orleans Saints at home for the first time in over a year. The Superdome got itself a makeover. The team has sold out their season tickets for the first time ever. U2 and Greenday played for the crowd, and I can say that the natives looked happy for the first time that I've seen in a long while.

When it comes to the football team, the locals have a lot to be happy about. They managed to beat the Falcons and maintain their undefeated record, now 3-0 for the season. If you know anything about pro football - that's unbelievable. The Saints haven't won a Monday Night game since 1992, the team has been known as the Aints throughout the franchise history, and they have never made it to the Super Bowl.

If they go to the Super Bowl this year, IMOL will be there... you know what - you heard it here first: "The Saints are going to win the Super Bowl!"

(Of course, I also said the Cubs would win the World Series this year.)

2006-09-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

SPEAK EASY, PARTY HARD...

VeGa: self-portrait #33

AmBo left this morning for Hong Kong. On our last night together we made a special visit to Bucky the Bull. He kicked my ass again. As a former attorney, I really don't know how these things even still exist given the damage they do. Yeah, I may have signed an Assumption of Risk/Limitiation on Liability document but can I really be held to it when I'm DRUNK?!?!

AmBo, who's a definite New York City girl, managed to transform herself into a veritable Californian by wearing PJ bottoms and a bikini top during the week she was here. Sorry no pictures, but I hope this explains why I wrote so little this week.

Tried to make it to this new SpeakEasy in the city last night but got distracted somewhere along the way... oh well - "this is my quest" (I am in need of quests ever since I was knighted [story for another day - lol]). I will get there eventually.

Also - lost my phone again, so if any friends are reading this, please call because I've lost all your numbers - thanks.

2006-09-12T02:47:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

The Big Apple. The city that never sleeps. And the man who doesn't either. I know Manhattan pretty well as I grew up across the river from it, and my first job out of college was as an artist for a commercial animation studio on Bleeker Street. Also, 4 of my 5 brothers are living in the tri-state area (NY, NJ, PA) and lots of friends from high school and college still live in the City...

Strange to have been there for the 5th anniversary of 9/11 - firefighters and police officers wearing white ribbons on their uniforms, tourists asking for directions to Ground Zero. It was actually a beautiful, late summer day... but a quiet and somber Monday.

The same can't be said for the rest of my long weekend however.

I touched the ground at JFK early Saturday morn - Brother #3 picked me up and we travelled to Bethlehem, PA together to see the rest of the family. I saw Brother #5's new house and spent the early evening catching fireflies with my nieces and nephews (no lightning bugs in California) and eating enough food to feed a small army. Then I headed back to Manhattan and met up with AmBo. If ever there was an International Woman of Leisure, it is she... I can learn so much from her. The woman has skills.

Highlights (that I remember): oysters and champagne at Aqua Grill. Martini's at Raoul's. The jazz band at... somewhere in the Village (it's a good thing I make as many drunken calls as I do or else I wouldn't know half of what AmBo and I did over the weekend). Smoked some Cohiba's with AmBo's friends Zo and Ha. Sipped Corona's at Zo's place before heading out with AmBo yet again. Fetched some pizza, too. Ahhh... to have real pizza again. There's nothing that compares to the pizza we grew up with. John's has made a cathedral of a pizzeria in Midtown, but I still have a soft spot for the original restaurant down the street from where I used to work ("used to work" - like saying that for some reason).

Had lunch with my buddy MiDi at Beer Bar - ate a most excellent hangar steak sandwich. MiDi is yet another recent father - what the hell is going on with my guy friends?! I'm starting to feel that I missed some big, kinky party last year.

My bags stayed in a Tribeca loft whilst we painted the town fantastic - I know I'm mixing my metaphors, but I did mix my alcohols like a novice, so it's to be expected... and I'm incredibly sleep deprived. Not to mention I had a layover in Vegas on the way back to Cali. Came home with a Statue of Liberty cigarette lighter (the torch actually produces the flame - so cool) and more winnings from the Vegas airport casino.

And... AmBo is coming to SF this weekend to continue the debauchery. Can't wait!

2006-09-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

LABOR DAY WEEKEND

The official first day of my new life was yesterday - Labor Day. While everyone else was sleeping in, I was continuing the celebration from the three consecutive nights before, which began with my last posting and now ends as I sit down in front of the computer again.

Above is a picture of MoFo and AnBy with me. I don't remember where we were when this picture was taken, but I do remember that MoFo played primary photographer for the weekend, and AnBy played host for the IMOL launch party.

Important Faces. CaGa [above left]. CaGa has not made a previous appearance on this blog, which surprises me because she and I do spend a lot of time together. She and her friend Ba [center right] have invited me to join them for the Massive Attack concert in a few weeks. The other gentleman in the photo, De, is good friends with MoFo. He became a father recently and seemed very happy to be out and about for the first time in a long while. We are all very drunk. Especially CaGa. Just kidding. I'm just saying that because I like to tease her every now and then... which I suppose means all the time if it's every now and then.

TIP OF THE WEEK - Do Not Mix Frenet with Champagne and Tequila.

JuGu [right] - I sincerely hope JuGu becomes a steady character in IMOL's adventures. She, for some unknown reason, is kryptonite to my social skills. I am normally, I think, a rather eloquent speaker, but around her I am mumble jumble crumble. She is not intimidating - in fact, she's funny and very sweet. I'm just a spaz around her, and I can't figure out why. But I am determined to conquer this condition and spend more time with her as the real me... as opposed to the bumbling idiot who likes to strike up stupid conversations with her.

Other Realizations: I have a thing for vampires. Call me morbid. Call me pale. Possessed by some Draculan spirit, I had several uncontrollable impulses to chomp on some necks over the weekend, and so I did. Fortunately, most of the necks that I bit belonged to friends of mine so no charges are being brought against me. I share two of those moments with you now, but I think there were more. Hard to say as everything gets a little foggy after Sunday early morning, and I don't just mean the weather - ha ha (San Francisco summer humor - I apologize).

Mark Twain once said that the coldest winter he'd ever known was a summer he spent in San Francisco. I spend most of my time inside so it's hard to say if he's still right, but I did throw on a sweater at some point over the weekend - summertime San Fran ain't like the rest of California at least...

KiLo played driver for me and brought me back to the sunny Peninsula (what we locals call the area just south of San Francisco). KiLo is an old, dear friend but camera shy. She will certainly make future appearances here but I question if I'll ever get her photo.

VeGa, who lives down the street from me, had a little barbecue - we cooked up some tri-tip and filet mignon wrapped in bacon. A bottle of Patron Silver disappeared gradually over the course of the next several hours. And for some reason, everyone was wearing sunglasses inside. Mmmmm. VeGa's friends are very cool and a return trip to Vegas with them may be in the works. A road trip. Ouch. With this crew, it could mean something very dangerous. That's why I'm so psyched for it...

2006-09-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

THE HAIR OF THE DOG (AND BULL) THAT BIT ME... AND KICKED MY ASS

Still sore. Afternoon the next... MeRe [above] and VeGa [below] stopped by the Lakehouse home for some turkish delight. Through their combined powers, IMOL was able to re-emerge from his dark, reclusive lair and continue his high adventure in leisure...

MeRe and VeGa are two tough titans to top in terms of party endurance. VeGa was there the night before... for Bucky the Mechanical Bull - located at the even newer New Old Pro in downtown Palo Alto. Those crazy kids at the Old Pro knocked down their neighbor's wall and expanded their bar and added the $3-per-ride attraction that is Bucky.

I was feeling lucky with Bucky. I really thought I could avoid getting tossed from his bullish back (tequila). Not knowing that everyone gets tossed from Bucky the Bull. And I mean everyone. What sheer pleasure to watch. What extreme agony to witness first hand the powers that the Buckster has.

As for the powers MeRe and VeGa have (you think I'd about forget our two heroines del dia?) - that's actually a story for another day. Suffice to say that the dynamic duet played the part of co-muses for the evening... and that IMOL has a thing for seeming tangents.

Regardless of the bruised bum, I managed to meet up with AnBy, JePa and CiRe (or Bubbles) to see the Every Move a Picture gig at San Francisco's Bottom of the Hill. Excellent show. Lots of booze. Wine and Guinness mostly. Not together but consecutively. Bubbles and AnBy discussed the plans for Saturday's soiree, JePa was drilling me about the Vegas Venture, and somebody literally threw yet another shot of tequila down my throat. Amazing skill.

It's all in the timing...

Today, I said good-bye for good to the life of family law lawyer. Come Monday (Labor Day - lol), my life as IMOL becomes officiale. Fare thee well divorcees, custody gladiators and deadbeat dads [photo at right are boxes from just one family law case - crazy!]. How glad am I to have the weekend here... because it's good to have a chance for a little rest and relaxation before the life of leisure really starts.

2006-08-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

OH, THE PLACES IMOL WILL GO...

International Man of Leisure (pronounced Lehzure) or IMOL has a dream. It involves travel, of course, otherwise the International wouldn't be part of the name. So... where to? I'm not paying for anything, and I think it only fair that since I'm not, you the Reader should decide where.

There are some terrific rates for San Francisco direct to Iceland right now... and you might know that I have personal interests to visit Rio, Pamplona and Monte Carlo over the course of this coming year, but really how should we figure this out? - where does IMOL actually go? Money talks and I sure don't walk - first class airfare, all the way...

[VeGa took this photo. The cone of light above my head is evidence of the mystical-paranormal, for sure. The pants are mocko-croco...]

POSSIBILITIES FOR FUTURE TRAVEL (please feel free to comment and add to the list) - besides the above-mentioned, the list includes New York City, New Orleans, Vancouver, Ixtapa, Buenos Aires, Cuzco, Bariloche, Barcelona, Amsterdam, Paris, Prague, Florence, Greek Isles, Moscow/St. Petersburg, Beijing, Tokyo, Sydney, Jerusalem, all along the coast of South Africa...

Anyone want to donate their yacht for a year? - it would be really, extremely helpful.

What is truth? Do we as a community create our reality? I watched John Carpenter's In the Mouth of Madness not so long ago, and it got me thinking (dangerous, I know). Are the religious wars we've had throughout history the result of efforts to control what the reality of our after-lives will be... if anything. [Can't forget about the scientific or atheist-types, now can we?] So... I've decided to include the occasional survey and allow the community to determine the truth - the readers of this blog will determine IMOL's reality, after all.

SURVEY: THE RATTLESNAKE BOOTS IMOL LIKES TO WEAR - WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?

a) a Gun & Boot store in suburban Texas

b) a thrifty boutique on Upper Haight Street

c) abandoned on a Costa Rican beach by a missing surfer

d) my Uncle E actually made them from a cottonmouth he himself killed

e) they're not even real rattlesnake boots in the first place